# [[Men Vs Women, Equal Values, Unequal Consequences]] #Society #Values #Gender #Opinion #Question I came across [this question](https://www.reddit.com/r/saudiarabia/comments/17ojqu4/comment/l3qneb5/?context=3) on Reddit, and felt like leaving an answer: *Growing up I have always been told to be a "good" muslim girl otherwise nobody will marry me lmao. And it really pisses me off now that I'm a grown up. I feel like its pathetic and abusive to raise only women with such a mindset.* *Why are men allowed to do anything and everything? Islam doesn't differ and a sin is a sin whether you are a man or woman so why is this so normalized? Guys drink and party or gamble + go to bahrain and bring up islam only to correct women? It's so disgusting and its hypocrisy.* **My answer:** I don't think that men are necessarily raised with different values than women. But what I am sure of is that the consequences of "bad" behavior are definitely much bigger for women than for men. And this is possibly what creates the gap you are seeing. This applies to the consequences by the family AND the society. Both are more lenient and more apologetic towards men. Imagine society is like playing a video game. There are two characters, a man and a woman. If man character has a health bar, the woman character would be a "one shot kill". This is also why "honor crimes" are strictly committed against women in some cultures. I am yet to hear about a man getting killed by his own family for an honor crime. Now, imagine a man getting caught by his parents sexting, and then imagine a woman in the same situation. Although there are unique cases here and there, but when you apply this to a large population, you will notice more leniency with men. In general, both genders are raised with similar enough values, but the consequences of mistakes are VERY different, and this is where the issue lies. The bigger question is: why? .. the answer is very complex and varies from culture to culture. But I think that one of the major elements of this "why" is tying the family's honor with their women. In many cultures, men are seen as individuals, while women are seen as "dependents". So, if a man does something wrong, he's the one to be blame for his own actions. But if a woman does something wrong, the father, the brother, the husband are the ones to be blamed for "not properly raising/disciplining their women". I think this is why we end up with women who face extreme reactions from family and society for even the small mistakes .. and men who receive very lenient and apologetic reactions from family and society, even for the biggest mistakes. > [!seealso] Related Thoughts > > Related thoughts will appear here when available. Published: November 6, 2023